Please Listen
by Leo Buscaglia
When I ask you to listen to me,
And you start giving me advice,
You have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me,
And you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way;
You are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me,
And you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,
You have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen!
All I asked was that you listen,
Not to talk or do… Just hear me.
Advice is cheap.
And I can do for myself. I'm not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself,
You contribute to my fear, inadequacy and dependency.
But, when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,
No matter how irrational,
Then I can quit trying to convince you,
And I can get about the business of understanding
What's behind this irrational feeling.
And when that's clear, the answers are obvious,
And I don't need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense,
When we understand what's behind them.
So please listen, and just hear me.
And, if you want to talk,
Wait a minute for your turn,
And I'll listen to you.
